Valentimes, Impostor Syndrome, etc
Oh man. It’s here.
Maybe you think today is Hallmark Card nonsense (been there).
Maybe you’re furious that your current partner is unromantic and crappy all year, and today, on one official day where it’s supposed to be about the two of you, is dunking on it (been there).
Maybe you’re single, and feeling rightfully resentful that we’re all shoving hearts and roses in your already pandemic exhausted face (been there, minus pandemic face).
Or maybe, whether single, relationshipped or situationshipped, you’re feeling like you need a little connection this February 14th (currently there).
Wherever you are, today is indeed Valentine’s Day, and it coincides with a Taali Talk. So I’m here to do my favorite thing all week, which is connect with you.
How I am today, you ask? Honestly I’m feeling pretty good. In the past two days I finally yanked myself out of a deep depressive period. My Savta screamed at me for about an hour on Facetime about how illogical my depression was. It was ridiculous and hilarious and I wish I had it on film to share with you. And though historically that’s the least helpful thing that can happen while in a clinically depressed state, I’m going to go ahead and credit her with screaming me out of this run. I’ve been back on my grind, and focusing on taking care of myself just to take care of myself, because I deserve it. I feel so much better.
And then there’s the love of it all. As we all know, after years of nonsense trial runs and terrible partners, I lucked out with sir José James, who is a treasure. I’m feeling all kinds of love for him today.
Topically, JJ and I actually have quite a lot of Valentine’s stuff on the internet already. There is, for example, this adorable video we did for NPR, alongside other musical couples, out today.
Then there’s José’s new single that we wrote and sang together, which came out Friday wherever you listen to music.
And then, of course, as you may or may not know, we’re playing you a duo show tonight, from Het Concertgebouw, which is one of the nicest concert halls in all of Europe. It’ll be livestreaming and we’ll be in the chat with you while we eat steak and drink sparkling non alcoholic beverages.
This is Taali Talk, though, not an Instagram post, so I can be honest with you: In the days leading up to the taping of the concert, I was being mean to myself. Truly truly mean. The more I looked at the majestic Concertgebouw stage, the less I felt capable of stepping on to it.
“I’ve never been a real pianist,” I thought to myself, despite officially signing as the newest Yamaha Artist last year.
Wooooooooooof to the max with that line of thinking. I truly feared that my clunky nonsense had no place on that stage. But you know what? It’s happening. And here is a pretty insane photo to document it, that was printed alongside a write up in Holland’s biggest newspaper on Friday.
We were able to take that stage, in exactly the way I wanted to. I got to reach out to a brilliant local small business, MC Bloom, and co-design a flower crown of my dreams with two goddesses named Miranda and Carmen. I got to meet a brilliant crew and create on a stage where legends have stepped.
Considering the aforementioned impostor syndrome, I don’t want to deflect too much. But I really am so deeply grateful to José for being the kind of ally we all dream of. He was approached to do this show as José James, and instead broadened it to include us and our record label. He also pushed back against every interviewer that insisted on interviewing only him about a duo show we were both doing, and made the above possible with his badassery and influence.
This Valentine’s Day I’m thankful for him, and for all of us who keep doing work like that.
And now we’re here, and you can watch it with us. It’ll go live in a few hours, aka 830 pm Europe, 730 pm England, 230 pm eastern, 1130 am PST, and I don’t know.. should I do more time zones? Eff it, let’s do it. What’s another one? Mountain time! It’ll go live, my Coloradan loves, at 12:30 your time.
I’m hoping it’ll be a moment that we can all share together in a year of complete nonsense. If you dress up, please please DM me a photo of your outfit. If you’re eating a good meal, I’d love to see it.
And if you’re feeling the same impostor syndrome I was, I just want you to know that I’m here, next to the wüdbürner, beaming you whatever kind of Valentimes or non Valentimes energy works best for you.
I don’t have to be your Savta and scream you out of the current state you’re in. But I really am so thankful that you’re here reading and in this new little community with me. Cheers, my love. To you.
With infinite love,