Do you want to know the completely ridiculous and very true truth?

My life has gotten one thousand times better in the past month because of an Instagram ad.

Yes, on top of Savta’s yelling therapy, I also have spying iPhones and a predatory capitalist system to thank for my newfound serenity. Because a month and a half ago, after I’m certain my cell phone heard me talking to José about how much I was struggling with focusing/my ADHD, I got a very cheesy ad for an app promising to help me make a morning, afternoon and evening routine.

I was desperate, so I clicked it. And, it turns out, this little app is magical. The part of me that needs constant encouragement appreciates the ability to check things off and be celebrated, and the part of me that is hopelessly addicted to my phone very much appreciates the gentle shaming that comes from push notifications being like, “Hello? Morning pages or doom scrolling? Your choice!”

It also has spa sounds that play while you’re doing your routine. They are sappy and glorious and I honestly love them. I am happy to report that I’m over three weeks in to spa sounds/consistent all the way through morning, afternoon and evening routines. I’ve become completely obsessed with the app, and am actively resisting the urge to convince everyone I know to try it, because I’m not an influencer (read on for why). Still, José jumped on to the app train, with a lot less fervor but an equally surprising love for the spa sounds.

The routines are customizable, and part of José’s morning routine is a little moment called “Celebrate!” I don’t know, he made it up, and it’s the sweetest. If/when we do it together, we put on music and dance around.

Today, when I finished my own morning routine, I was still feeling pretty rough. Not every morning has to be magical, after all. José came over to give me a hug, which is when we first heard the Kool and the Gang. I told him that that was sweet of him, but I wasn’t quite up for celebrating, even if it was part of his app’s routine. That’s when we realized that the music was actually coming from outside the house. It was coming, in fact, from this EPIC BIRTHDAY PARTY right outside our window. This platform still isn’t great at having videos on it, so please enjoy the very bad photo below that does it no justice, and imagine the blasting Celebrate Good Times and very good dance moves.

As I watched these glorious humans, I (1) wished that I had known a birthday was coming (I would have 100% supplied the chocolate cake, strangers or not), (2) realized that actually there is quite a lot to celebrate today.

So let’s celebrate good times, (come on!) shall we?

I started this little community on a whim, on a day when I was feeling particularly crappy about Instagram.

Today I’m celebrating that we’re 19 taalitalks in. Over the past few weeks a lot of you have newly subscribed, and we’re super close to 200 subscribers, which, for me, is worthy of orange wigs and dance.

By now you know my relationship with Instagram is … complicated. That heinous manager we’ve discussed in past t-talks first put me on to it way back in the day. He told me to just be myself, but also to, you know, play to my “strengths.”

That sleazy and cynical pitch kept me away - For years I ignored Instagram, until the business lady in me saw it as a tool. Then, for a year or two, I was an accidental influencer. I say accidental, because I really fell into it, and was very, very bad at it. Some of you may have met me during that time, in the beginning days of social media. (Thanks for sticking around!) My curly hair routine became a video and I got flown out for a few fancy trips with a bunch of brilliant and badass ladies.

I decided my influencing days were over when, on a trip in Miami, the final activity of the day was to take a yacht way out into the middle of the ocean to snorkel. After a weekend of meticulously scheduled photo-opps this was my respite: I had been smiling, boomerang-ing and throwing my head back with fake laughter just so that I could get to that magical Sunday sail.

When we finally put down an anchor way out on the water, you couldn’t get that snorkel on me fast enough. I got ready so fast they had to stop me so that they could get the below photo.

My Saba was a sailor. Every magical memory from my childhood involves him or my dad and ocean or sea. I plunged into the water and felt the enormous relief I always feel when salt water hits my skin. All of the weight of the weekend’s expectations melted off of me, and I swam, swam, swam. After about 20 minutes, though, I realized I should come up for air and say hey to the other ladies, and, you know, the people who had flown me out there.

I’ll never forget it. I looked up, and it was just me.

All of the other humans on the trip and staff were on the yacht, trying to make sure they got the perfect photo of their “snorkeling experience.”

I want to be clear - I don’t begrudge even one of those women the choice they made to not dive into that water. Content creation is a job, and a badass, self boss respectable one, at that. But, like all jobs, those who do them should be cut out for them.

I am cut out to jump in the water, not sell the image of jumping.

The problem up until 19 weeks ago was that I’ve also never been cut out for what I’ve seen offerred as the alternative. This can be any number of methods including goofball oversharing, snide eye-roll “I’m better than Instagram yet here I am posting on it,” square-meme-your-magic-wisdom-of-the-day-ing and anywhere in between.

None of those options work for me. We’ve talked about this before - I’m creating for an audience that the business says doesn’t exist anymore. People who want to connect, sit down and listen to a full album, read a weekly longform newsletter.

People like you, my love. Cue the Kool and The Gang. Come! On!

I made this little newsletter on a whim in late November. It’s March now, and there are very nearly 200 of us.

In past years, that would seem like a really small number for me. I’d stress about what to do to get that number higher. I’d research other substacks, read up on growing an audience here, etc. I realize now how backwards that is. There are (almost!) 200 of us, and we’re all human beings together. I’m honored and excited to know the you behind your computer or phone or tablet or whatever screen. More than anything, I’m proud to finally be building a community with less regard for the numbers than for the creation.

To celebrate, I went ahead and did some internet magic and bought www.taalitalk.com. A fancy little official indicator that this little corner of the world now truly truly exists.

And, now that the birthday party is winding down outside, I think I’ll go do a real-deal dance party with José, music inside of the house this time. Apologies in advance to our neighbors.

Hope you get to have a little dance party yourself, today. Sending you all my love.

t

ps: I’m not holding out, of course. if you do want to know the name of the app, let me know in the comments and I’ll absolutely divulge how to get spa-sounds-of-your-own.
pps: If you (1) are new here (2) have just been visiting the website but haven’t subscribed and now feel super compelled by the Kool and the Gang excitement, you can join us via the fancee button below